


Get his ass

by houseattached, Wakii



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Bird, Crack, Get his ass, I want bad connor to step on me, Love, Peace, War, detroit become human - Freeform, fight, i love connor, joke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-05 11:02:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15169292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houseattached/pseuds/houseattached, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wakii/pseuds/Wakii
Summary: What fuck





	1. Todd gets fuCKED

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wakii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wakii/gifts).



Everyone: BEATING THE F U C K OUT OF TODD  
todd: *p e r i s h*


	2. Help im being held hostage holy shit

"Hello Alice." Kara said eyes glimmering under the setting sun.  
"What fuck??" Alice yelled. Kara was doing the splits. Not one single split. It was two splits. "Kara i will literally run away."  
"Do you wish to see me dab." Kara asked getting ul and dusting her pants off. "Pleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyes."  
"N OOOOOOOOOOOO." Connor dabbed into the scene. "ALICE I WILL SAVE YOU." Connor punch Kara in the face but Kara is a qUEEN WHO WILL NOT BE TREATED LIKE T H I S.  
"B i t c h!!" Kara said. "Whats WRONG WITH YOU. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOOD DAD???¡¡¡"  
"Yeah," Connor said, getting up in Kara's face, "WELL IM BAD DAD NOW. ILL TAKE YOU TO YOUR ROOM AND B E N D YOU OVER MY KNEE!!!"  
Whoa now suddenly Marcus walked into the room and he looked like a fucking queen, even better than Kara. "Hey you little shits" He saids, "Stop fuckibg bickering abd look at these masterpeices." He flicked his long,silky black hair back. This hair was so black that it looked like the night sky witg the the shines mimicking the stars. Each strand seemed to have a life of its own as it move delicately through the hair, the strands seem to glow a different color softly before going back to this blackest black black black that ever exsisted.

"WHOA" Connor yelled "Where did yoy get that wig?" He eyed the glorious hair and sheddded a tear.

"BiTCH THIS IS ALL NATURE." Marcus yelled then whipped. "Now COME KRUMP WITH ME SO WE CAN HAVE THAT SEX AFTERWARDS BRO nO HOMO."

"Okay bitch!" Connor blushed. "But why not full homo?" His eyes sparked and gave off an innocence and happiness that made Markus blush as well. Connor blinked slowly and the background turned pink witg flowers surrounding tgis boi like in kne of those weeb cartoons. He approached Markus and gently placed his hand on the side of his face. Connor brought his thumb agonizingly slowly across Markus's cheek while biting his lip, his eyes meets Markus's as he closes his eyes and leans in closer to his lips. Markus also closed his eyes and leaned in as well. Markus could feel Connor's breath on his face and he smell slightly like cinnamon. They were about a cenimeter apart until Connor whispered "Bitch" and slapped Markus.  
"What the Hell---" Markus said but was cut off from Connor kissing him.


	3. I didnt even finish the game. Im like less than half way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to kick me out the fandom please.

My names Simon. Im just like you. I eat. Sleep. But i have one huge ass secret. No body knows im gay.  
"Sup heteros!!" Said Alice.  
"Hello Alice." I say sweating. "I like guys." I yell.  
"oH W O R M??!!" Markus says. "Lets get on a farriswheel together." He says  
"why."  
"Ferriswheels belong to the gays." Markus said. And he wasnt wrong.  
"Wait im supposed to fucking blackmail you. You cant skip the whole movie bitch." Connor said suddenly.  
"I do whatever the f u c k i wa n t."  
"Then fuCK ME IF YOU DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT,.!!,,," connor moanEd.

 

Feel free to continue whatever the fuck this is in the comments


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bitch

I fUCKING LOVE LUTHWR OKAY. LIKE HE IS MY FAVROTE AND YALL ARE SLEEPING ON HIM. YALL ARE FUCKINg SleePING ON H IM. I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS ANYLONGER. YOU GuYS SEE HOW T A L L HE IS. YOU SEE HOW PRECIOUS HE IS. HE HAS BIG OL MUSCLES THAT HE USES TO CARRY ALICE AND KARA AROUND ON. THE WAY GE S A Y S KARA. I CANT BELEVE THIS. I CANT BeliEVE YALL ARE REALLY FUCKING SLEEPING ON TGIS MAN. FUCK EVERYONE ELSE. I WANT A LUTHER STORY. I WILL MARCH MY ASS DOWN TO THEIR HEADQUATERS AND DEMAND THAT IT HAPPEN. WHOS COMING WITH ME. MAKE LUTHER FAN ART YOY C O W A R F S. MAKE LUTHER KARA AND ALICE FAN ART YOU FUCKING COWARDS. I DOUBLE FUCKING DARE YOU. I WILL NOT REMAIN QUIET ANY LONGER AAAAAHHHHHH. MY BOY LUTHER IS THE GREAT. WOOOOOOOOoo.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, i dont make the laws, i just enforce them.


	5. Would Connor really have a dick??

OKAY SO HERE ME OUT!!

Why the fuck would connor have a dick. Like would he really need one. Did the Cyber Life people make Connor and think "Here is a state of the art robot boy that's sole purpose is to get deviants." And then some guy said "We need to give him a dick" and it just happened??¿¿ Like this has been keeping me up at night because in fanfics people write connor having a dick. More importantly would androids that arent meant for sex need a dick? Like do the cleaning bots really need titties?? Well probably because it makes them look more real. But like??? I dont know. I was on Tumblr and someone wanted to draw connor smut (which i DID NOT want to see) and they gave him a dick and like uuhh. I feel like Cyber Life would have given him a mound or somethimg. Like a Ken doll or some shit. I don't know. Its really late and im just so confused. h


	7. Bitch

"Bitch." Alice said, walking into Hanks house.  
"The f u c k is up with you??" Gavin asked  
"Bitch why the fuck are you here." Alice asked. She kicked off her gucci shoes and her prada purse. She was a rich bitch and she wasnt playing around. Hank owed her money and she was here to get that c o i n. Or else she would take Sumo as payment.  
"Me and Hank are kind of a think right now sooo...." Gavin said trailing off, cocking his gun. "W HY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A GUN??!!" Alice said. But it was too late. Gavin shot her in the leg. Hes a stupid fucking dambass though because Alice is a goddamn android and that shit dont hurt.  
"WAKE UP LIEUTENANT!!" They both turned to the room behind them to see Connor and his fine ass. Alice whispered to Gavin. "Shut the fuck up or Connor will kill us." Gavin then shot Connor. "What the FUC K GAVIN???" He'll be back though but everyone is a dumbass bitch and started going into a fucking gay panic.  
"Well my work here is done. Babe, come get me." Then he walked in. Gucci jumpsuit. Chanel bag. Full face make up. Jeffree Starr. He was snatching wigs left in right with every step he took. In better light it was revealed that it wasnt jeffree. It was simon. His Gucci slides slapping the tile floor. "Bitch when did you to get togeth-"Alice said. Quaking is her designer boots.  
"Control Alt De-Fucking-Lete" Simon said with a pop of his tounge. Alice then shut down.

 

To Be Continued


	8. I wanted to make this chapter title a bunch of A's but i type this on my phone and that would take to long so instead i decided to use my 200 plus character limit to explain to you why this chapter wasnt titled "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." I'm very sorry for this

Continuing :))

 

"I just love you so much." Kara said. But her lover couldn't answer her because it was a fucking vaccum cleaner. "VvvVVRRRRRRRRR." Kara said, forgeting that the vaccum couldnt understand english. 

"Hey uhhh Alice is ummm like really dead rn and i didnt kill her this time." Gavin said. He took hold of Kara's hand. Gazing into her tearfull eyes he hugged her. A hug that needed no words. A hug that said everything. The hurt, the pain, the everything. 

"I cant believe it." Kara choked out her words. Simon then walked into the door. 

 

"Well you can be- fucking - live it bitch" He said.

 

 

Thats it. Im tired and dont feel like finishing this chapter. See you in like 3 weeks aaahhhHH


End file.
